Planting Roots

Instagram

2011-09-12T22:56:00.001-07:00

My favorite app at this moment is Instagram. It's like Twitter for Pictures and I love it! Pic Stitch is another great app to download and add coolness to pics you can upload on Instagram. The best part of it all is both apps are FREE!!!

The following are some of my favorite pics:

Rainbow Bridge @ Lake Powell

Fan-atics <3

Fair @ Bishop

Family Classic

Created by Hagoth :)

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Veggies & Spices

2011-04-02T19:27:00.001-07:00

Kale Gratin

Sweet & Sour (Harvard) Beets

I found both of these recipes from "The Joy of Cooking". I've learned that tarragon is the king of spices and that spices definitely enhance a dish, when used correctly. Both dishes were a hit with the family. I find cooking and following a recipe to be very fulfilling and even relaxing! :)

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Countdown to 30

2011-03-31T08:55:00.001-07:00

No countdown would be complete without a challenge. So my personal challenge for 30 days is to cook a new vegetarian/vegan dish and blog about it. Why? Why not? :)

Yesterday was the beginning of my 30 days to 30 and I made the following:

Dinner:
Crispy Chickpea Patties
Moroccan Couscous Salad
Broccoli

Dessert:
Peach Crumble

All my recipes were found in this months latest PETA magazine. The food was very tasty. The recipes call for a lot of different spices and seasoning which really makes the meal filling. I used spices I've never heard of. While shopping for ingredients I had to google what I was looking for. Thank goodness for my awesome iPhone! Overall the meal was a success and now I must look for my next recipe.

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Location:Home

All You Can Jet

2010-12-26T21:50:00.001-08:00

First Stop
Utah
Spent time with my besty Ui in Saratoga Springs.

Remember locking ourselves out of the house so we could have better lighting for our pic? Goodtimes! I also got a new haircut from my favorite hair stylist Gairyn.

Celebrated Tama's 3rd Birthday! Thomas the Train theme :)

Lots of fun decorating and eating yummyness!

Utah was my family stop and well worth it.

Summer Summary

2010-11-30T18:35:00.001-08:00

I got my sexy back...thanks boys!

I became a Sun loving, coffee scrubbing, beach bum.

Found my long lost Moon Sista Ali, and started Body Harmonics. Esoteric dancing, ohms, and stretching helped me to let my inner Goddess shine.

Massaged in Catalina, when I wanted too. Being an Independent Contractor totally rocks.

I "Dared to be Vulnerable" (retreat) and met like minded peers. Science of the Mind, it's a philosophy, not a religion.

Bought a magical pass on Jet Blue to visit and explore. Oh the places I'll go...

To be continued...

A Work in Progress

2010-08-19T02:19:00.001-07:00

I've cut back on working and I'm playing more. Playing? I define as taking time for myself to enjoy what I supposedly work so hard for. I'm a lot more simple than I thought. Enjoying the company of good friends, conversation, and taking in the beauty of the ocean. I'm also learning better ways to take care of my health, physically and spiritually. I finally found what Ive yearned for, for such a long time. Me, just me. I love myself for the beautiful Goddess I am today and not stuck on the idea of striving towards becoming that Divine being in the afterlife. I feel stronger than ever before and I'm ready to be.

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Happy

2010-08-03T09:41:00.001-07:00

Finally moved out and in my new place. Life is no longer gray and daunting because I've had my Aha! moment and I know what I'm to do. My life is a retreat and so each day I live my retreat I'm blessed with a calmness to my spirit and a reassurance of what I'm doing is right for me.

Yesterday was a beautiful day I spent outside communing with Mother Nature. Went with my Moon sistas to coffee scrub at Lovers Cove. Always an invigorating experience!

Sunday I went kayaking with Jacque to Frog point. It was so much fun being on the water and talking about life. I picked up some rocks with plant fossil imprints which I brought home to put out as a decoration piece. Sea glass is so cool too, I've started to collect.

There's so much beauty on this island and that makes me so happy to be a part of it all. I'm glad I moved out of my old place. I'm feeling a lot lighter in my mood.

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321...ohmm!

2010-07-28T18:43:00.001-07:00

Done with my sadness. Did a read and breathing, now feeling better. Changed the playlist. Finished with that chapter of my life. Now on to the next volume of My Story.

The Death card is my Solution, don't worry I'm not suicidal. But it does make sense now.

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Here I go again...

2010-07-28T17:48:00.001-07:00

Geez another move, I've moved so many times I've lost count. I'm finding it hard to pack. I've come across old love letters and Nikki's clothes. Why do I hold onto this stuff? Ealier I burned my roughdrafts of a Valentines poem I'd written for her. But when it comes that which she's given me, I can't do it. Instead I reread and have my pity party of tears thinking about where I went wrong, what could I've done to make us work. And it probably doesn't help that I'm listening to Rest in Pieces by Saliva.

I feel dead inside my heart.

YouTube Video

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My Program

2010-07-19T21:39:00.001-07:00

I use to dream and plan my wedding all the time. But I've come to realize after every break up I had to change it cause of course I'd cater the wedding to the likes of my partner and I. So knowing better now I've decided to plan something that never has to change. My funeral program. No it's not morbid. And since the last 4 nights I've dreamt the same dream of my death and funeral, I feel it's appropriate to prepare a format of what I would like to have done in honor of my life.

I want to be cremated and have my ashes spread on the ocean of southern Cali since I was born and raised there. I only want my immediate family and closest friends on the boat or at the pier...honestly it doesn't have to be expensive. (I'm dead, so it won't kill me..hehe)

I do not want a service in any religious buildings. I'd like my siblings to have a celebration of life in the form of a BBQ preferably at one of their homes an open house potluck style. Please have a sing along. Let's keep it light and fun. Keep it simple.

I will make sure that my finances are in order. And even though I don't have much I am writing a will to make sure all is taken care of. And if I get more time than I'll probably end up filming my will and editing too!

Ok that's what I have for now.

Sometimes

2010-07-19T04:00:00.001-07:00

I just want to hide from everyone

But instead here I am
Open & broken
For everyone to see
But they don't
So I continue on

Location:Dreams

I Love to EAT...

2010-07-18T17:33:00.001-07:00

Healthy = Skinny?

Listening to the audio book Skinny Bitch...mmm definitely a plot to convert to the vegan lifestyle. I enjoy learning more about how I can take better care of myself. I'm not disagreeing with what I'm listening too. I just know myself enough that yes I can eat more vegan, vegetarian, & pescatarian meals in my life...but I crave meats once in a while and I don't believe in denying my wants. I just try to eat smaller portions now :)

Healthy = Happy (that's what I believe and work towards)

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Independence Day

2010-07-05T11:37:00.001-07:00

I had a nice relaxing 4th celebrating with family & friends. Green apple Smirnoff's are my new favorite drink of choice. Nothing like a nice buzz, good food, and fun company to chat & chill with. Watched the firework show from the pier...next year I plan on making my own ;) But seriously I am. Anyways life is good here on Catalina.

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6 down 6 to go

2010-07-01T13:40:00.001-07:00

Yes! It is July. Please come out Sun! Another 6 months to finish off this "eventful" year. Reflecting on the past 6 months (because I do that alot) I've seen changes within myself.

My heart will never love the same and I consider that to be a good change. I feel I know who I am and what I would do for the womyn I love. I feel I've raised my standards when it comes to my choice in womyn. And I have my friend Mel to thank for that. It's true, the older you get the pickier you get when it comes to matters of the heart. No longer can I use my age to be young and naive. I know better now.

Family. I love them so much. No matter what bad shit happens between family I know that with time and love all issues can be worked through. My relationships with my sisters(& sister nieces) have had the opportunity to strengthen and it continues. I have quality friends whom I consider to be my family too. Greg & Ui I will always have much love for them and their wonderful families. I am truly blessed to be loved by my amazing family & friends.

Taking charge of my life has been rewarding and can be difficult too. I look forward to a better stronger future. Living in the now to ensure my happiness.

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One Fine Day

2010-06-30T22:23:00.001-07:00

I dream to be a Mom :)...oh and maybe a wife! But I won't hold my breath for the wife bit.

My beautiful grandniece Elani <3

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Ana Unplugged?

2010-06-26T19:59:00.001-07:00

Lately I've been thinking about just having an email and blog account. Yes I'm talking about deleting my Facebook, Twitter, and any other online social network I may be a member of. So far I've deleted my Bebo, Myspace, and Hi5 accts. There may be more out there but I'm not sure? Why the delete frenzy?I just feel like I need to spend less time online and more time physically outside and engaged in an activity. I'm planning to learn to paddle board. I'm told it's great for your core balancing. I'm keeping my blog because it's my most current journal and I love reading my family and friends entries. Email is for business and friends too. Other than that I believe my hardest letting go will be Facebook. I have so many photo albums and I need to make sure I have those pics available to print. So it maybe the last acct I get rid of. I just know I've gotta switch things up in my life for better and happier results. Disconnect is definitely coming soon...

Goodbye

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Location:Depths of my Soul

Bulletproof

2010-06-12T08:54:00.001-07:00

I'm quietly waiting for my boat ride home to Catalina. This week has certainly been an education. Lots of love & tears I'm emotionally drained in need of rejuvenation and focus, which I know how exactly I will obtain this balance. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a single thing that happened. It is through the events of this last week I return home a stronger womyn. I'm blessed to be surrounded with beautiful, talented, strong womyn both family and friends. My heart is all mine and I will hold and protect it more than ever. Those I share it with are my sisters, family, and close dear friends.

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Family starts with Love

2010-06-08T23:38:00.001-07:00

These past couple months I've been blessed to focus working on my relationships within my own family. I have much love and admiration for all my siblings and their children. I've learned that life's many challenges, though overwhelming at moments, with time and love, relationships can be renewed and strengthened. I've attended anniversaries, birthdays, graduations, and most recently welcoming my 12th grandneice into the world. These events are priceless and I look forward to more.

Bunz & Elani

My Grands

5 of 10

Sibs

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Journals

2010-05-04T14:22:00.001-07:00

Today I've been unpacking more of my things. I came across my old journals and couldn't help but read some of my old entries... Hahaha I'm Hilarious...

My most recent journal :)

My all about me journals at age 21 & 27. The all about us is Nikki & my relationship.

This is a very special journal I recieved from my bestie Raija on my 26th bday. I think of it as my transformation journal :)

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Location:Home

Johnny Polygon

2010-05-04T14:06:00.001-07:00

Caught a show last week when I was in town. The openers were not my cup of tea. But the wait was worth watching Johnny Polygon perform. He's a talented artist and I hope to hear more of him in the future :)

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Location:Santa Monica

Divine 29

2010-05-03T21:03:00.001-07:00

5 days of celebrating my bday ;) Spa treatments, chilling with my Murrieta Family, watching my Phoenix & Lylah, watching Goth recieve his grand prize award at the Asian Film Festival, Johnny Polygon show, & FAMILY time :)

YouTube Video

My favorite cake the Paradise Cake from King Hawaiians Bakery ;) yum yum!

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Location:Catalina Casa

To Everything...

2010-04-27T09:27:00.001-07:00

"Turn turn turn
There is a season
Turn turn turn
And a time for every purpose under Heaven"

Waking up I realize this is my last day being 28. So in true Ana fashion Im making this a peaceful day of reflection. I feel so thankful and blessed with the wonderful and loving family/friends in my life. I am surrounded by beauty and positivity here on Catalina. Today I am pondering over the following quote.

"Change is life. Growth is optional. Choose wisely."
-Karen Kaiser Clark

I'm so looking forward to the future :)

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Location:Alberta's Couch

Happy Anniversary

2010-04-25T07:18:00.001-07:00

My Brother & Sister

Ominae and Margie are here on island celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary :) I'm so glad to see them. Last night a party of 5 of us went to dinner to celebrate. I love making good memories here,

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Location:Catalina Island

One of them days...

2010-04-23T19:21:00.001-07:00

I had a great chill Friday :) love these kind of days. I was blessed to catch up with loved ones, organize my home, and just be. Life is so good :)

This is the quote I've been pondering today:

"If we rely on others to fulfill us, then we become chained by our attachment to their actions and may try to subvert their will.
Freedom comes from being fulfilled from within, being fulfilled by the beauty of this world around us."

Thank you Oracle ;)

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Location:Home

If I were a Boy...

2010-04-20T19:59:00.001-07:00

I'd never cut it as a guy! I love my boobs too much :) lol

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Pasty Cline Moment

2010-04-18T07:08:00.001-07:00

I fall to pieces
Each time I see you again
I fall to pieces
How can I be just your friend

You want me to act like weve never kissed
You want me to forget, pretend weve never met
And Ive tried and Ive tried but I haven't yet
You walk by, and I fall to pieces

I fall to pieces
Each time someone speaks your name
I fall to pieces
Time only adds to the flame

You tell me to find someone else to love
Someone wholl love me, too, the way you used to do
But each time I go out with someone new
You walk by and I fall to pieces

I woke up this morning with
a picture text message from my ex. I've been doing so good with not contacting her and moving on with my life. But my defense is weak and this song crept into my heart to crush it some more. I believe it was a group text so I'm just going to buck up and keep on trucking. I just wanted to write this out of me...letting go now.

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Location:The Couch

Beyonce & Shakira

2010-04-12T12:22:00.001-07:00

Ever since I watched the music video Beautiful Liar I've wanted my body to look like Beyonce's or Shakira's. I find them to be gorgeous women :)

This morning pandora played Beautiful Liar on my way to Exercise class and I was reminded of my goal. I feel like I sweated the most ever today because all I was focused on were my end results. I'm pumped and totally stoked to continue on my healthy journey. I want my body to be smokin hot, I'm talkin scandalous sexiness ;) I've got some serious working out and eating right to do.

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How to...

2010-04-11T22:16:00.001-07:00

Wikihow has been my go to read when bored or pondering lifes many mysteries. It's a site that I could call my own personal bible besides google. As of lately I've been reading up on self beautification tips, self empowerment, pretty much anything that I think about I type in and see if there's some tips to be shared. I feel like i'm moving in the best direction for myself. It's not easy, but it's definitely worth it.

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Location:The Internet

Dreamless Nights

2010-04-11T11:32:00.001-07:00

Last nights festivities.

I never thought I'd drink alone and enjoy it. I realize that not only do I enjoy drinking in solitude, I prefer it. I love a nice buzz before bed, which leads to some solid sleep. Happily I rise from a dreamless slumber and that is good for me. I don't want sweet dreams or nightmares, I'm quite capable of creating both while awake. I don't like beers or wines. I'll stick to my pretty drinks filled with a bagillion empty calories...I make sure to eat less and workout harder when I have a prior day of drinking :) So life is what it is and I'm moving along.

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Sweet Dreams

2010-04-10T08:18:00.001-07:00

I cannot sleep
I fear sweet dreams that await me.
Waking up to the nightmare
I know as reality.
A life without you.
A life without hope.

Let me fade into the light of the sun.
Drown in rains cold tears.
Lost in the mist of despair.
Suffucate me with love in the air.
Pierce my soul with the blue moonlight.
Stars shine down upon my brokenheart

I offer up my life with a wish
To silence all my pain & sadness
I've grown tired and can no longer move on.
Ive given my all and now i'm done.
I am void empty alone
In need of an eternal home
Not to be loved or judged
Just to be
Quiet still dark
Death please come quickly

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Location:My Bed

My Heart

2010-04-09T23:44:00.001-07:00

My heart is in my smile
Hoping to brighten
The darkest of trials

My heart is in my hands
Waiting to help
Whenever I can

My heart is in my feet
Willing to walk
Through whatever life brings

My heart is Me
Filled with all my love, hopes,
and dreams

AEA 4/9/10

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Location:In bed

Love to Work

2010-04-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

Yes my lil sultry pose :) just chillin at work keeping busy with massages. I love where I work. I love the ladies I work with. I'm so grateful to be where I am physically, mentally and spiritually in my life :) my day was beautiful :)

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Location:My Heart

I Forgot

2010-04-03T10:03:00.000-07:00

Some habits are hard to break! For example this morning an older gentleman stopped me as I was walking and asked if I was from Colorado. I told him no and that the Colorado sweater I was wearing was my girlfriends. He awkwardly replied oh and went about his way. Leaving me to remember "ex" girlfriend. Being single does have it's benefits, but sometimes and especially right now I miss having that special someone.

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Location:Mean streets of Avalon

April Fools Day

2010-04-01T11:37:00.001-07:00

I wish I could say that I pulled off the ultimate prank but alas I have not. If anything I'm the fool :) I accidentally locked myself out of my sisters house this morning. Trying to push the door open I broke the bottom corner window of the door. The good news is I was able to unlock the door. The bad news is now I have to pay to get it fixed. Just another bill to add to my many. I called my sister to let her know what I had done. I had to start off with " I know it's April fools day but ..." We're good but snap I gotta be more focused and aware! Life can be so expensive... The lyric from mo money mo problems keeps coming to mind.

Did I do that?... Dammit I sure did!!! I can see my $$$ flying away! And damn I need a pedicure stat!

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Location:Catalina

My New Ride

2010-03-12T22:51:00.001-08:00

JoiBella is her name... our beautiful joy ride :)

There she is parked in her spot! Purchased today by Alberta and I. She's just what we need :) what a wonderful productive day. Exercised this morning, bought a golf cart, kept busy with massages, definitely enjoyed the great weather and totally looking forward for whatever tomorrow brings my way!

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Location:Catalina Island

Daily Incantation

2010-03-11T22:05:00.000-08:00

Everyday I am learning
To be a better me
When I gaze at my reflection
I'm loving what I see
I see strength beauty and kindness
Passion grace and fun
I am everything I choose to be
I am my own " The One"

I wrote this a couple weeks ago and say this to myself everyday. It's been very helpful to get me through times of self doubt. Just wanted to share it and hope that it can lift your spirit too. :)

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Location:My Heart

Stephanie Meyers Moment

2010-03-10T23:59:00.001-08:00

Ok so I woke up this morning remembering my dream/nightmare. It was so clear in my thoughts all I could think about was how much I wanted to write it all down. So I grabbed my phone and started to write in my notes app. Yeah I know I've already established how awesome iPhones are. But I just want to reiterate yet again that they are the bomb.com :) So I'm on a roll just writing out my dream when I realize it's time for exercise class. So I go to class and all I can think about is ideas for the fantasy fiction story I've decided to write. My mind is filled with what I need to write down next. Unlike yesterday I actually have things I need to do at work. When I finally get time to myself I sat down in front of my laptop and began to create. I've made great progress at my outline and can't wait to paint the picture through words. I'm really excited about this! Oh and if you don't get my title, Stephanie Meyers is the author of the Twilight series and when asked where she came up with her idea she responded that she had a very vivid dream that she woke up and wrote down. I'm not saying that my book(s) are gonna be a hit like the Twilight series but I am happy to express my emotions in a different creative way than I am use too.

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Location:My Dreams

A Buddahful Morning

2010-03-09T08:51:00.001-08:00

Woke up early this morning feeling calm and well rested. The ocean is choppy today so the morning boats have been cancelled. Which means no tourists, so I'm thinking it's gonna be a chill work day for me. Today I can begin to make my house a home and just relax. I'm so thankful to be surrounded by natures beauty, so inspiring!

-Posted using the WAY COOL Blogpress App on my Kick Ass iPhone!!!

Location:My Living Room

Blogging in bed

2010-03-08T21:28:00.001-08:00

I'm happily laying in bed blogging via my iPhone. How cool is that? Way cool I say! Damn I love this phone!!! Having my own place here on Catalina has definitely increased my positive flow in all that I do. I'm loving having my schedule and working hard to achieve my goals. So far this year I've accomplished moving out on my own and continue to love being a Massage Therapist. Exercise classes has truly been my salvation to staying upbeat during my day. It's at night I feel my weakest and most vulnerable, but lucky for me I have my sister Alberta here to keep me company and I'm not so lonely anymore. My life is blessed with loving family and friends plus a kick ass iPhone.... It's ok if ur jealous reading this... Lol
I like to call this photo " Ghost Bunny" toodles...xoxo

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Location:My bed

Enjoying the Journey, My Travel Log Through Life

2010-03-06T11:51:00.001-08:00

I originally started my blog when I first went on tour with Vayden to keep in touch with friends in Hawaii. My good friend Ui encouraged me to share my Journey thus the inspiration for my page name. As life usually does I've been going through many changes both good and bad, easy and hard. And in true Ui fashion this creative muse has shared with me my newest page name "Memoirs of a Gaysha" I died laughing when she texted me the idea...and I haven't been able to not think about it. So today my page has had a Facelift for the better. Prior to this beauty I was rocking the I Miss You Converse page which was more for the memory of my past, but this is now gonna be ALL ABOUT ME =) and kooky thoughts cause I have a lot! Living, Loving, Learning, & Laughing....gotta dig the L action aye? ;) I'm ready to be happy again.

The New Girl in Town

2010-02-21T10:14:00.000-08:00

Isn't she beautiful? I love my new phone! I went from a dinosaur flip phone to a sexy sleek iphone and I'm never going back! I'm enjoying downloading all sorts of apps! My new trusty companion that won't let me down. If I'm bored I can play games, surf the internet, catch up with friends via text or call...so many possibilities! My investment into my phone aka "New Girlfriend" has already been reciprocated and will continue to brighten up my days. Funny, but so true! And if any harm should fall upon my girl, thank goodness for insurance!!! I'm covered for all damages except Lost or Stolen...but I don't worry about that! My girl will always be by my side and I'll never let her out of my sight! =) If you don't have an I phone go get one! You will not be dissatisfied!

My Valentine

2010-02-16T16:45:00.001-08:00

Yes, Valentine's Day is totally overrated when you're single! But 3 years ago I started to care about this holiday because for the first time I felt thought of. Pleasantly suprised to walk into work 3 years ago, I had a beautiful bouquet of red roses, balloons and a box of chocolates waiting for me. I was thrilled to be thought of in such a personal way. It was all for me, and had me genuinely smiling for days. That was the turning point for me and my expectations were set. Last year I was a bit disappointed that I wasn't thought of as I had been the year before. And this year I was looking forward too make it really romantic. Sadly I was dumped 2 weeks before. But its all good because I still was able to celebrate the love with my sister Alberta =) She came out here to be with me as my heart is healing and to help me reflect. As I poured out my heart to her I realized the changes I needed to make in order to move forward positively with my life. I'm so thankful for my sister and the support and love she has shown me. I consider myself very blessed with the relationship that I have with my sisters and with my close friends. I'm coming to realize what true friends really are. I am a Romantic at heart, and one day I know that I will fully be appreciated and I will fully appreciate the woman in my life. But as for now I am happy to be who am and know I am loved.

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

2010-02-10T21:12:00.000-08:00

What I want

I cannot say

My beliefs

I hide away

Holding back

I scream inside

I open up

And out spill lies

To cover up

The mess I've made

Because what I want
I cannot say...

I wrote this poem back in 2008 after I had fully come out to my family that I was gay. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do in life. But its definitely been the best thing I've done for myself. At times I wish being who I am was easier. There was a time I thought perhaps I could be bi or that being a lesbian was just a phase. But the truth is this, I Love the presence, the smell, the taste, the touch, the companionship and understanding of a Woman. Nikki is the only person in the world that I want to share the rest of my life with. I love her in all ways possible and we're not even an item anymore. Now that I know what I want in my life and I'm no longer afraid to say it.

What I Want

Is to be Loved

For Who I Am

To be Thought of

To Live a Life

Filled with Laughter
To Pursue My Happily Ever After

I Am Your Daughter

Sister, Family, Friend

So Please do not let My Happiness

Be Our End

Love is Love

I know this True

Because No Matter What Happens

I Still Love You

R.I.P

2010-02-09T19:12:00.000-08:00

Tears

My Closest Friends

Caress

My Face

I’m Alone

Cool the Heat

My Frustrations

I Yearn for

Sleep

Calm My Heart

To Dream of Hopes

Instead of

Thinking of What’s Not

Sad, Empty, Lonely

Eyes Shut

Quiet Stillness

Online Tutorials

2010-02-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

I can't help but watch how to make different eye make up effects! It's so beautiful! I just bought a 120 palette of eye shadows and am happily awaiting their delivery. I spent a total of about $18 on Ebay and this includes the shipping and handling. I already know I'll love the product because my sister Karess already has one and I love hers! It's said that

"The Eyes are the Mirror of the Soul"

, so I'm going to make sure my eyes are as beautiful as my soul. Cause I just know my soul is

GORGEOUS!!!

Challenge of the Week

2010-02-08T22:20:00.000-08:00

EXERCISE x 2

I've decided that every week I'm going to set a new challenge for myself to keep me busy and active. And after I complete the week, I will continue on with whatever it is that I choose. Last week's challenge was to write a blog everyday. I will continue to do that for the rest of the year. This week's challenge is to attend exercise classes twice a day (Monday-Friday). I have it all planned out and can already check off Monday. So here's my plan for the week:

Monday

830 am to 930 am Cardio/Weights/Step Class aka Karla's Class (Intense!!!)

6 pm to 7 pm Yoga w/Angelah (Love IT!!! Namaste!!!)

Tuesday

830 am to 930 am Spin (I tried this for the first time last week, all I can say is OMG!!!!)

6 pm to 7 pm Zumba (I Love to DANCE!!!)

Wednesday

830 am to 930 am Karla's Class

6 pm to 7 pm Yoga w/Angelah

Thursday

830 am to 930 am Spin

6 pm to 7 pm Yoga W/Jen

Friday

6 am to 7 am Spin (Crazy Early!!! But there's no PM classes on Friday!)

830 am to 930 am Karla's Class

I chose to increase my exercise classes so I can start my day off right and finish it off well. I plan to be busy and tired!!! Just what I need! I'm so stoked to accomplishing this task. I totally know I can do it and it's so worth the money. Getting and staying healthy is very important to me. I'm not getting any younger and it's about time I started to really take care of myself. Well I better get to sleep! Early to bed, early to rise, will help me become HEALTHY WEALTHY & WISE!!!

Inspiration

2010-02-07T22:41:00.000-08:00

I will be moving into my one bedroom apartment this upcoming month and this is the view I will be waking up to. I'm so thankful for this change and I look forward to living my life here on Catalina. Work is good and I've been making friends too. Starting over is never easy, but it is definitely something I'm very use too. Hopefully I can settle down and plant some roots here. Only time will tell.

Ladies Night

2010-02-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

Patron, Zucchini Fries, Arugula Salad, an Ahi Burger w/fries and an Expresso Mousse was what I ate tonight and I enjoyed all of it! Going out with the girls for drinks, dinner and great conversation was a nice treat to end such a full day of work. I'm really beginning to love where I live. Especially since I'll be moving into my new apartment in March! A topic that stood out in my mind tonight was Pursuing ones Passion. I have alot of interests and I know bodywork is a passion of mine. But I feel like there's something more out there that I should be pursuing also. So I've decided to keep my mind open to everything and anything going on in life and then seeing if I can put together a passion to pursue.

Smile

2010-02-05T14:02:00.000-08:00

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

These lyrics are helping me from day to day to stay positive and keep moving forward with my Life. I know that the Journey of Life isn't all fun and games, and though it sometimes feels easier to just give up and wallow in ones sorrow I try to remember how much more rewarding my Life will be if I stay true to myself and close to those who Love me. I know I'm far from being perfect and that I will make mistakes, HUGE mistakes throughout my Life. But I am Blessed to be surrounded by those who care about me. So I will make it through my feelings of sadness, failure, rejection, and heartache. I will find the Love of my Life yet again.

The M Word...not Marriage

2010-02-04T13:07:00.000-08:00

I'm talking about Masturbation. Yep, I said it. Masturbation. You know, self sexual stimulation. And guess what? I do it too! hahaha...But seriously I do. I do it so much that I looked up online to see if it was unhealthy. Quite the opposite. There's so many benefits to self pleasuring that I'm definitely pro masturbation. There's nothing wrong with knowing what your body likes. Yes, growing up this was not a subject to ever bring up to Mom or even Sister. And when it comes to church it was just plain wrong and I must remember that my body is a Temple. I've come to disagree with that statement. Because my body is a Temple I've chosen to know just how to take care of it. Besides pleasing it sexually, I'm teaching myself how to keep it healthy. And a happy healthy sex life is one of the many key components to accomplishing keeping my Temple balanced. I know not everyone agrees with that, and that's fine, whatever works for you. But the following is a little poem I put together today. Enjoy!

When I'm up in bed and can't get to sleep

I rub one out

Instead of counting sheep

When I'm in the shower and feel in a bad mood

I rub one out

Making room for a better attitude

When I know someone loves me but is far away

I rub one out

Until she comes to stay

It's never too early

It's never too late

To rub one out

Yes, Masturbate!

Beautiful

2010-02-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

I never understood when my past significant others would say:

"You're so beautiful."

Quickly following with:

"But...." blah blah blah... we're heading towards a break up.

So I'm talking to a friend today about this and how hurt I would feel when hearing such a thing. Because in my head I'm wondering. If I'm so beautiful then why are you leaving me? She brought it to my attention that why did the two have to correlate with each other? You are beautiful, and "so and so" is choosing not to be with you due to other reasons. Why was I allowing my value of self to depreciate when feeling abandoned? And why is it when I am "loved" do I feel at my highest value? Why can't my self love be enough for me? In short why am I not satisfied with myself that I need outside approval? Food for thought, food for thought.

Back Combing and Palm Rolling

2010-02-01T12:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had fun maintaining my Brother Hagoth's dreads. It can be a timely process but it's very cool for me to be a part of the journey he has embarked on with his lovely locks. I've been able to see them form from the beginning and I look forward to seeing their continuing growth. I'm not a hairdresser but thank goodness for youtube! That's how I learned how to maintain dreads. I've toyed with the idea of embracing dreads also. But I've come to the decision that I'm not ready for them yet. I'm gonna keep rockin my current do for now. The best part about doing his dreads is that we get to spend time together and good memories that will always be special to me =)

You know what I mean?

2010-01-06T15:51:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get asked that question?

"You know what I mean?"

I feel like that's a common question I'm asked during massage sessions. It usually has nothing to do with the persons body or the massage. Majority of the time its something personal that they're assuming I can relate too.

My first massage client of the day was an older woman, she was talking on the phone with her daughter as I waited for her to get on my table. When we started she starts to tell me how guilty she's feeling because her teenage daughter is at home sick while she is here on the island on a mini vacation. I tell her that I'm sure her daughter would want her to enjoy her time away, especially her massage. She says that her daughter probably doesn't even care since she is in high school. Then she says "Mother- teenage Daughter relationships are so chaotic. You know what I mean?" I smile and nod like I do. But really I have no idea. My mom died when I was 13 years old. And I wasn't really that rebellious in my high school years. So that gets me to thinking about how many times do I just agree with a person, when I really don't relate to what's being said.?

You know what I mean?

2010 New Year : New Goals

2010-01-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

So I brought this New Year in like a kid. I ended up babysitting for a couple of my friends here on Catalina. It was a night filled with Disney movies, pizza, and chocolate pudding! Lots of fun =) I thought it was a great way to bring in the year with a paying gig. So no complaints from me. I found that I really enjoy kids and that I look forward to raising my own someday. Natural birth or adoption I really don't care as long as I can be a Mom one day. So I made sure to look over my 2009 Goals before I wrote out my 2010 Goals and I made sure that this year I was more detailed oriented with them. Last year had its ups and downs, but its behind me now. I'm focusing on my present and working towards a better future for myself. One of my favorite movies I discovered last year is "The Women". I enjoyed that it was an all woman cast and the message it conveyed to its viewers. I've watched it quite a few times and every time I do, I come away with a new lesson. Last night I was reminded to think about myself first. What about me? That was the question posed and I know its not selfish to ask this to myself anymore. A couple years ago I would of thought, wow thats a selfish question. But I finally understand that if I don't take care of myself, how can I ever really take care of anyone else? Also how can I empower others if I'm not empowered myself. So this year I plan to live the life I dream and be the person I want to be.

Coming Home

2009-10-31T12:51:00.000-07:00

After a long stint on the Island, I finally came home to celebrate the Halloween weekend with my family. I love being home with Phoenix and Lylah, their presence is so healing to my lonely heart. I'm filled with such happiness when I come home to discuss life with Hagoth and Sarah and have playtime with the kids. It brings me to a grounded feeling of love and strengthens my ability to keep moving forward with my dreams. I consider myself blessed in so many ways. I'm living my passion of Massage Work, my mind is challenged with work and also with planning Morgan's upcoming wedding festivities, and I'm growing in ways that are new to me. I'm experiencing the journey and enjoying every single step of the path I've chosen. I'm so thankful for the gift and power of Love. It's eternal and true.

Keeping Up

2009-10-24T21:37:00.001-07:00

Geez time flies and I'm lacking on my updates. Much has happened as it always does. I'm currently living out on Catalina Island working as a massage therapist. What started as a summer gig has turned into an opportunity of strengthening my skills and sticking it out in one place. Yes, I've been a rolling stone for a long time and I'm ready to settle down in some ways. My New Years Resolution was to get out of debt this year. Well I finally started the process of doing so and I feel great about it. It's such a burden to know that my credit is crap. But now I'm making things right. I still love Long Beach and consider that my home. I miss Phoenix and Lylah so much, and I miss hanging out with the family. It'll all work out though. I'm working hard here to pay them bills and also to focus on myself. I love the workout classes they offer here on island and I also enjoy being a pescatarian. I've never felt better about myself. I miss my girlfriend Nikki. We actually broke up a couple months ago. We still remain close and now she stays in Utah. I do love her very much and one day when the time is right, I plan on being together again. Life is full of so many paths to follow. I'm happy on the path I am on now. Self discovery is never ending and wonderful. I wish nothing but the best for family and friends.

July & August 2009

2009-09-21T02:25:00.000-07:00

So here's what I've missed writing about...there's more to catch up on.

Toured the East Coast with Vayden

Morgan & JJ get Engaged!

I'm her Official M.O.H (Maid of Honor)

Doing massage on Catalina Island

Rocked out with The Band in Germany!

its been too long

2009-09-21T02:13:00.001-07:00

i haven't posted for ages. so here i am up at 2 am in the morning with nothing much to say...life is good. i'm alive. i love my family and friends. i feel very blessed to live in this time and only wish the best for others, even those who have offended me. forgive and forget. i do believe that! =)

Graduation Season

2009-06-13T14:06:00.000-07:00

So far I've attended a total of 3 graduations this year. 1 jr. high and 2 high school grads. I always find myself thinking about my own graduations and how long ago they were! It's a lot of fun being with family and cheering on your graduate, then afterwards ambushing the grad with leis. At the end of the year I should be in Hawaii for Miss Ui's grad, I'm excited for that! =) Yesterday I was at Shane's High school graduation in Oceanside. The graduation was held at the beach, which I thought was a beautiful backdrop. It was way crowded, but what grad isn't? Graduations make me want to go back to school...maybe I will! =)

Anything but that!!!!

2009-06-04T11:01:00.000-07:00

Oh I hate doing what I must! My room is ground zero! Its horrendous and I just can't bring myself to cleaning it. What does that say about me? oh I really don't care. This whole morning I've been avoiding this... I've added ringtones, did online banking, I even wrote Elder Aiono an email!...Oh and this is my second blog of the day...Laundry, vacuum, ORGANIZING...I gotta get ready to hit the road in about a week and a half! Man I wish there was a pill I could take to give me the energy...oh wait! there is =)... but I don't want to pay for it...lol...I'm on a budget. Today is my little brother's birthday, he's 26...wow I'm old! Argh ok enough BSsssin I better get to this room and handle it before in handles me. Clean up clean up...

Cat Poop!

2009-06-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

So we have a problem...the local cats have made our backyard their own personal litter box...ew! The smell is so stinky!!! So I spent yesterday picking up cat poo, I watered and turned the soil, then sprinkled cayenne pepper on the ground. Sarah read a blog that said cayenne irritates the cats, so hopefully this home remedy works! I've never really been a cat person, I like small dog and goldfish...once upon a time I did want an Ant farm. If the pepper doesn't work, I'm getting a bb gun... hehehe.

Home Sweet Home

2009-05-27T14:24:00.000-07:00

I'm back from my trip to Hawaii and Graduations in Arizona! So happy to be home in Long Beach! I had such a wonderful vacation. I am blessed to have such great people in my life! Now we are waiting for Miss Lylah to make her appearance. I was worried I wouldn't be around for the day but now I'm back and ready to be of service! Come mid June I'll be back out on the road touring with Vayden. The Merch Girl inside of me will emerge and do better than before. Nikki and I made a year mark this month...yes, our relationship has had its ups and downs, but what relationship hasn't? I love her, she loves me, we can work through our hardships =) As I reflect on my life so far, I feel very blessed for my family and friends and the life I lead. Life is Good!!!

p.s. i love my little guy phoenix...he is my home sweet home! =)

Double Digits

2009-03-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

Today is Nikki and my 10 month anniversary and I'm laughing inside. Because we celebrate the weirdest months together. Last year we celebrated our 7 month and next we'll party together on our 11 month =) So we're an Odd couple and I love it.

Progress

2009-03-17T22:21:00.000-07:00

Well it's the end of day 2 and I'm sipping on my evening tea. I must admit good food smells delicious! But I just try to keep a positive attitude and think of all the benefits of this Cleanse. Yesterday I woke up drank my saltwater and in an hour made friends with the toilet. I continued to drink my lemonade and I went about my day watching little Phoenix. I did a lot of cleaning and organizing in the house and whenever I felt hungry I had a glass. The cayenne pepper just bursts in my organs, its not a bad feeling, I enjoy it because I imagine fireworks exploding inside me. On the other hand my throat is a bit on fire, but it goes away. I failed to mention that my older sister did this cleanse last year for 30 days and lost 28 pounds. So I've been talking to her asking my questions, the do's and don'ts =) Today was good, I'm told that after day 3 or so I'll experience such clarity that this would be a great time to works on goals. I dig that! I've also realized how much I depend on food. Not just for nourishment, but also as a personal comforter. Even when I'm not hungry I'll want to eat just because I can. A friend and I were discussing how this cleanse is hard because you have to truly be committed to go without food. This is the first time I've ever attempted this cleanse without cheating on the first day. Yes, I always have the intention to want to change, but I've lacked the commitment in the past. So what's change? Why now am I ready to commit? Well I'm getting older and as look back on my life I've never taken care of myself FULLY. Mind, Body, and Spirit. I've made excuses of why I couldn't do this for myself. But no more, I can't doing anything to make up for my past, but I can improve myself now, for my future. =)

The Master Cleanse

2009-03-16T00:46:00.000-07:00

Today I've started the Master Cleanse Diet also known as the Lemonade Diet. I'm not doing this to lose weight. I've been a vegetarian for over a month now and I want to completely cleanse my system of all the waste and give my organs a nice jump start towards a better healthy life. I'll be doing this for the suggested 10 days and decided to document my progress, in case anyone wants to ever try. So tonight I drank an herbal tea called Smooth Move, in the morning I'll drink a saltwater flush and then for the day I'll drink the lemonade concoction. I've been doing some reading on the health benefits of cayenne pepper and it's known to help rejuvenate your body from the inside out. Well here I go! I'll keep ya'll posted =)

Eileen Te Ataakura Aiono

2009-03-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

Sunday, February 26, 1995 the date that is forever apart of me, the day my mom died. It's been 14 years since mom left, that's about half my lifetime. Last week was her anniversary of passing, and I found myself thinking about her. Who was this woman? What was she like at my age? What would she think of me now? How accurate are the stories I've been told about her? Most are positive, but its been my experience that the dead are often sainted after life than before...and then of course these questions: Why? Why didn't she leave Dad? Why did she put up with all the "crap"? Why wasn't she stronger?

So I went up to Rose Hills to visit and write out my thoughts in journaling. I started my own personal conversation with Mom. I caught her up on the latest and greatest. I figured she already knew, probably knew before everyone else! LOL... Asked her my questions and listened for the answers.

Though the questions I've wondered since her death have stayed the same, I've changed, and I feel I understand the choices she made. I've been able to have my own experiences in life. I laugh at how judgemental I was of her when I was younger. I see myself in her, and I also see the differences.

Who am I to judge my mother? I only want to learn from her choices. I remember seeing mom really happy smiling and giggling, her eyes full of light. I remember the aching chill of a broken heart, watching mom sob as she fervently prayed and fasted, for an answer, and of course the singing of Patsy Cline songs. I've somewhat adopted the same regime when it comes to a broken heart. I remember wishing that mom would leave dad and take us with her, just like she told me she would when I was 8.

The 13 years I had with my mother I remember mostly sad stories. Usually me trying to stay out of her way so I wouldn't get in trouble. Joshua could never do wrong, so I took on mine and his punishment. It seems like my brothers have sweet wonderful loving stories, but I don't. I am number 9 of 10 and I do feel that by time I came along Mom Loved being a Nana, but was burnt out at being a mother. I believe that parents try to give their kids a better childhood than they got, so I am thankful. So yes, I feel a bit jilted, but that's life. I can only move on and try to do better for myself. I know she loved me and I love her. And in the end thats all that matters =)

Confessions of a Frugal Shopaholic!

2009-02-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I found my new favorite spot in Long Beach, located on 4th street downtown. On 4th street you will find many different types of thrift stores ranging from furniture antiques to vintage clothing. There's also an Artsy Theater that has only one viewing room, but shows independent films and some mainstream. I could feel a creative vibe in air as walked up and down the street window shopping.

The pictures above were taken at La Bomba Vintage Thrift. Now every 3rd Saturday of the month La Bomba opens the back room of their store where you can see is a mountain of clothes!! The dresses, tops, and scarves are a $1.00, yes one dollar each =) Jackets are $5. I found myself climbing the mountain digging and having a blast searching for the coolest styles of clothes for me =) I can shop all day, I practically was there for a good 3 hours plus rummaging through and trying on clothes. I came away with 3 tops and six dresses for $9. and change! i can't wait to show ya'll my clothes once they've been cleaned and altered!

I found a store that sells vinyl records and purchased:

1) George Benson's Breezin- This is a baby making record =) Love IT!

2) Carly Simon's No Secrets- I love her voice! Yes, Your so vain is on this record.

3) John Denver's Greatest Hits- I love folk style music, it's so chill.

4) The Wiz Soundtrack- I like to put this one on and dance around the house with Phoenix =)

I'd also like to mention the great coffee shop Portfolio located on that strip, they have yummy blended chai and stuffed cheese and spinach croissants. I can't wait to go back and do some more shopping.

Photos of the Cottage

2009-02-23T15:29:00.001-08:00

Our House

My Favorite Shot

The Breakfast Room

This is our front door. =)

Knock Knock

The Cottage

2009-02-19T21:11:00.000-08:00

So we moved from Irvine to Long Beach and I love it! Our new place is a house! So goodbye to apartment living! We can be as loud as we want, as late as we want! Woo Hoo!!! =D I think of our new place as a quaint little cottage with that Snow White kind of touch =) The house was built in 1932, it's a 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath with a kitchen, laundry room, attic, informal and formal dining room, and a living room with a fireplace. We definitely use the fireplace and I've honed in on my inner firestarter skills. Young womens camp does pay off! I can't wait for visitors! I love doing the tour, as long as the rooms are somewhat clean...hehe...I love our location in Long Beach. It is a safe area and there's alot of cool shops and stops around our place. I plan to put some pictures as soon as I buy a memory card for my new digital camera. =) Peace Out Homies!

Paint Me Funny

2009-01-30T13:45:00.001-08:00

Ana & Josh

Momo*Bunz*Greg

What a fun night! It was so cool hanging out with these awesome characters at the last Vayden gig here in Cali. As you can see none of us are camera shy! I like changing the colors of pics because its a funky fun touch to some pretty neat memories.

Tea Time

2009-01-30T13:07:00.001-08:00

I love to drink a hot cup of chai or peppermint tea in the morning with my breakfast. I love it for an afternoon of relaxing and reading a book. And I love it to settle me at the end of a long day.

Me & Tea

When my throat is dry and scratchy

And a cough drop will not do

I put on my kettle of water

And pick my favorite brew

As the water hits that boiling point

My Wicked cup is set

Its time I pour it all on You

I'm so happy that we've met

You're just the perfect size

The perfect taste too

I'm feeling better already

Tea I LOVE YOU

I've been sick this past week with a sore throat and Tea has been a constant companion. I need a refill. =)

Moving Along

2009-01-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

I believe I am a Gypsy...

I'll never settle down, because I'll never feel settled.

But I'm ok with that. Being on the go is fun.

So Long Beach here I come!

all my bags are packed, im ready to go... =)

#1 Goal of 2009

2009-01-15T00:28:00.000-08:00

ELIMINATE ALL OF MY DEBT!

Goodbye to student loans, credit cards, and unpaid bills! I'm tired of having such bad credit hanging over me like a gray rain cloud. I realized that I allowed it to take a toll on my self worth, so instead of avoiding it like I've been doing...I'm setting up payment plans and learning how to manage my money. I actually want to have $$ in my savings account, LOL... seriously I do =)

I have more goals that I'll be working on, but I just wanted to put this one out there! If you write it down... You know what I mean.

Reflection 2008

2009-01-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

2008 was a great year for me. It was a year of self discovery and realizing what really mattered in my life. I know who I am, and I love it. I love my family and friends. I'm blessed to live the life that I have.

I worked for "the man" January to April and really started to dislike living in Arizona... In Spring I went to Hawaii and spent time with true friends and found the love of my life... I rocked out the summer with Vayden and saw a lot of the USA... Made bff's with Phoenix and now we chill 24/7... Oh and I came out to family and friends that I'm gay... I've improved on cooking and baking... I've begun to read a lot more books... I've become more politically involved... and honestly I have a much happier outlook on my future =)

At the moment I've been working on my goals for 2009. There's so much that I want to accomplish this year. But that's the subject of my next blog.

The Holiday

2009-01-07T11:11:00.001-08:00

The past 3 weeks have been a wonderful time of laughter, love, and relaxation. My girlfriend Nikki was able to join me here in California for Christmas and New Years. I discovered that the best way to finish the year and start a new one is being in the arms of the person you love! Ok, so that's a no brainer, but it's my first! I was so proud to introduce Nikki to my family (of course that would be to the family that is open and supportive of our relationship). They loved her and that is definitely a plus. I'll cherish those quiet intimate moments that we shared. I look forward to our relationship positively growing. I love her with all of my heart and I hope that everyone can be as happy as the way I feel. Let's go 2009!!!

A Movement of Love

2008-11-17T22:57:00.000-08:00

November 15, 2008 at 10:30 am PT, across the US, gays, straight, families, and singles in multiple ethnicities gathered at their city halls to protest the passing of Proposition 8 that eliminated the right of same sex couples to marry.

I was able to participate here in Irvine and just wanted to share my experience. I wasn't sure what to expect. I had seen that only 61 people had rsvp on facebook. But I was determined to go out and show my support. I passed the civic center at 9:45 am that morning on my way home from the bank to see that the street corners were bare. I was in hopes of seeing atleast some people starting to form a group. But no, it was empty. I got home telling myself you're going Ana, don't chicken out. You see Irvine is ULTRA SUPER CONSERVATIVE!!! And I was concerned about the crazies out there! =( I mean gay hate crimes do happen...

Moving on, I made last minute touches to my poster (which you can view on my FaceBook), packed some water, a black permanent marker, tape, and my sunglasses (all very handy items to have while protesting) and was on my way back to City Hall! As we drove up to the hall I heard the honking of horns and chants "Equality for ALL!" ~ "Gay, Straight, Black, or White, All deserve equal rights!" ~ "Spread LOVE, not 8!"~ my personal fave =) so I hopped out and with a new light got my march on!

I met alot of nice people =) There were good speakers, that encouraged us not to lay blame on any ethnic or religious groups for the passing of 8. Instead they counseled to go out into our communities and educate others that gay people are just people, like themselves, living their life and trying to raise their families with love too. Thus the campaign is a Movement of Love.

The lame part of the protest was a couple people brought posters with profanity on it...I went up to some ladies and told them that I'm glad they came out to support, but their poster were inappropriate (F bomb), there were children there and it defeats the purpose. When people were talking about protesting the Mormon Temples, I chimed in my two cents about not all LDS members voted yes, and that we should protest our city halls not single out the Mormons. Lately I've found myself speaking up in cases that usually I wouldn't. AND IT FEELS GOOD! I left the protest feeling proud to be a part of what I feel is a change towards a better future =) So yeah thats about it....Peace out!

Next Post....My new LOVE....LA Fashion Distict!!!

Victory is Bittersweet...But full of HOPE

2008-11-05T09:56:00.000-08:00

I'm very honored to be a part of American history. As a nation we've elected our first African American President, Barack Hussein Obama. It brightens my spirit to think how far we've come as a country in equality and acceptance. And though Proposition 8 has passed here in California by a 52% consensus, I believe equality will come for the gay community in time. Civil Rights was an uphill battle and did not come easily. So I'm sticking in there, I'm a huge supporter for Marriage Equality! =) Martin Luther King JR once said, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere". So with love and hope I will continue to do what I can to eliminate injustice.

A Tragic Potluck

2008-11-02T10:59:00.000-08:00

This poem was written for me by my brother Curtis in response to a No on Prop 8 commercial I had posted on my face book. That thread received comments of views from both sides. A majority of my siblings and their children support Yes on Prop 8, which if passed will eliminate the right of same sex couples to marry in the state of California. I believe this proposition to be unjust and wrong, so I've become a public advocate for upholding the current law. I'm not the only person in my family voting no, I just happen to be openly gay person of the family. And because of that I've been accused of rubbing my beliefs in others faces, and not respecting or showing love for my family. That is untrue. I love my family and I'm not ashamed of who I am. I love this poem and am forever thankful that it was written. Enjoy and may we all learn to embrace diversity and acceptance.

A Tragic Potluck

On the first Sunday of every month my family eats together.

It's really just our excuse to sit and be together.

We cook in the morning then bring our own dish,

Then around 6 around the table we sit,

And every first Sunday it is always said,

"My what a beautiful spread"...

The table is filled with foods of all sorts,

Which mirror the faces in our family of course,

Some dishes I love some I won't taste,

And that's fine with me because I make my own plate,

But every first Sunday it's in everyones head,

"My what a beautiful spread"

I wonder if other families are lucky as we?

Who can enjoy such culinary variety?

Who can taste the cuisine from the islands or the far-east,

And even enjoy amazing European treats...

The sweet yams from the south that come out almost red,

"My what a beautiful spread"

So many beautiful dishes there's always more than enough,

All prepared with care and an armful of love,

Everyone so different and so innately unique,

I wonder if other families feel like this when they eat?

Cause as we say our own graces and bow our heads

We all say,

"Thank you for the beautiful spread"

How sad an event if one day things had to change.

And every dish we made was exactly the same,

Would we be so excited to sit down for this feast,

If everyone decided to bring the same thing?

Could we look on our table and could it be said.

"My what a beautiful spread"

My family is a potluck where everyone is their own dish,

And that we are healthy and happy is my only wish,

That we are unique and different and never ashamed,

Of the dish that I know we worked so hard to make,

May we always laugh and play and dance and sing,

And understand the joy and bliss that each of us brings,

May the table that we eat on always stand up,

On the legs of happiness and foundation of love...

Cause when I look at my beautiful family

It's hard for a tear not to shed,

"My what a beautiful spread..."

-ccc

The Latest & Greatest

2008-09-07T12:44:00.000-07:00

So this past Friday I met up with family in Hollywood to raffle, to see the musical Wicked. At Pantages theater I entered my name in hopes of buying a front row seat at $25. On the paper you can circle up to buying 2 tickets. They draw thirteen names out and you must proceed directly to the ticketing office and buy your ticket in cash only right away! No thinking about or waiting or they just raffle for another name. So my niece Caydi's name was chosen and her parents bought 2 tickets. Our goal was to get at least 3 tickets, since only 3 of us had never seen it. I was the 13th name called! They only had one ticket available and I bought it! So I ended up going with my nephew in law Joseph and his little brother Junior who's visiting from NZ. Their seats were together and I sat opposite alone. But I was so happy to finally see the musical who's soundtrack I'd fallen in love with back in 2004. It didn't let me down at all! The music was powerful, the props were beautiful, my experience was MAGICAL!!! I can't wait to see it again!

2008-08-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken in Toledo, Ohio... very interesting sign... I'm told it means no gang related colors?? I didn't even know they had gangs out in the boonies!

A quick update I'm on the Not So Silent Tour with the band Vayden, playing with bands named Tantric and Fosterchild. All band are on the Silent Majority Group (SMG) Label.

So far we've played in 17 states and 32 venues since June 11th. We're currently on our way back to Jacksonville, North Carolina, to perform at the Sand Jam Festival. It also happens to be the first city we started this tour in. So we're excited to meet up with new fans and make even more!

Here's a couple of things I love about the Tour:

Getting to know the guys from Vayden... They're AWESOME!!!

Shopping in ATL

Driving through the Country

Home Cooked Meals

Making New Friends

Crashing at New Friends Homes

Learning to drive a 15 passenger van... more about that later =(

Sleeping in the day time

Rockin Out @ all hours of the night

$1 Menu @ Wendy's

Southwest Salad from MacDonald's

$5 Footlongs from Subway (I like better) & Quizno's

Sharing my bed with Armin ; ) lol

I'm just thankful to be out here and doing something that I really enjoy.

Til Next Time

PEACE

aea

Nashville Plus

2008-07-18T06:44:00.001-07:00

Well Howdy There!

I sure enjoyed my downtime in Tennessee. Our hostess Niki was very kind to take us out on the town to experience late night Nashville. I do believe this is my second favorite spot, Atlanta being my first choice. I loved just walking downtown being a tourist and taking a gazillion pics, which can be viewed on my bebo! So far I've visited 11 states and 25 cities on the tour and I'm currently in the van driving up to Michigan. I'm happy to go up north and finally leave the Dirty Dirty. Being on tour has been a blessing. I get to travel and see the US of A like I've always wanted too. Yes, this is definitely a road trip to remember. I love that I get to visit and drive through many cities that I've heard of but never been too. The countryside is truly beautiful and a great change from the concrete jungles of the big cities I'm use to on the west coast. Also I've met many people who truly define Southern Hospitality...but I tell you this, no one beats the Aloha Spirit! I do miss the rock but I'm glad to be out here on the road with Vayden and being apart of their journey towards rockdom! Also I'm glad to have this time to myself and enjoy being on my own doing my thing. I'm really looking forward to gigging in New York! I'm gonna take LOTS of photos! I better get going...its my bed time! Adios until next time!!!!

07-12-08

2008-07-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

What I want

I cannot say

My beliefs

I hide away

Holding back

I scream inside

I open up

And out spill lies

To cover up

The mess I've made

Because what I want

I cannot say...

i wrote this after a conversation i had with my older brother martin.

A Mini Break

2008-07-15T08:49:00.000-07:00

So we're in beautiful Nashville, Tennessee and I'm enjoying this 3 day break!

The quiet streets of Hillsborough Village. Here I am with Armin and Bruce making friends and exploring the city. I'm hoping to take more photos of our little excursions. My favorite memory for this place is the buffalo chicken feathers from Jackson's. They were so yummy!!!