Saturday, October 31, 2009
After a long stint on the Island, I finally came home to celebrate the Halloween weekend with my family. I love being home with Phoenix and Lylah, their presence is so healing to my lonely heart. I'm filled with such happiness when I come home to discuss life with Hagoth and Sarah and have playtime with the kids. It brings me to a grounded feeling of love and strengthens my ability to keep moving forward with my dreams. I consider myself blessed in so many ways. I'm living my passion of Massage Work, my mind is challenged with work and also with planning Morgan's upcoming wedding festivities, and I'm growing in ways that are new to me. I'm experiencing the journey and enjoying every single step of the path I've chosen. I'm so thankful for the gift and power of Love. It's eternal and true.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Geez time flies and I'm lacking on my updates. Much has happened as it always does. I'm currently living out on Catalina Island working as a massage therapist. What started as a summer gig has turned into an opportunity of strengthening my skills and sticking it out in one place. Yes, I've been a rolling stone for a long time and I'm ready to settle down in some ways. My New Years Resolution was to get out of debt this year. Well I finally started the process of doing so and I feel great about it. It's such a burden to know that my credit is crap. But now I'm making things right. I still love Long Beach and consider that my home. I miss Phoenix and Lylah so much, and I miss hanging out with the family. It'll all work out though. I'm working hard here to pay them bills and also to focus on myself. I love the workout classes they offer here on island and I also enjoy being a pescatarian. I've never felt better about myself. I miss my girlfriend Nikki. We actually broke up a couple months ago. We still remain close and now she stays in Utah. I do love her very much and one day when the time is right, I plan on being together again. Life is full of so many paths to follow. I'm happy on the path I am on now. Self discovery is never ending and wonderful. I wish nothing but the best for family and friends.
Monday, September 21, 2009
i haven't posted for ages. so here i am up at 2 am in the morning with nothing much to say...life is good. i'm alive. i love my family and friends. i feel very blessed to live in this time and only wish the best for others, even those who have offended me. forgive and forget. i do believe that! =)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
So far I've attended a total of 3 graduations this year. 1 jr. high and 2 high school grads. I always find myself thinking about my own graduations and how long ago they were! It's a lot of fun being with family and cheering on your graduate, then afterwards ambushing the grad with leis. At the end of the year I should be in Hawaii for Miss Ui's grad, I'm excited for that! =) Yesterday I was at Shane's High school graduation in Oceanside. The graduation was held at the beach, which I thought was a beautiful backdrop. It was way crowded, but what grad isn't? Graduations make me want to go back to school...maybe I will! =)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Oh I hate doing what I must! My room is ground zero! Its horrendous and I just can't bring myself to cleaning it. What does that say about me? oh I really don't care. This whole morning I've been avoiding this... I've added ringtones, did online banking, I even wrote Elder Aiono an email!...Oh and this is my second blog of the day...Laundry, vacuum, ORGANIZING...I gotta get ready to hit the road in about a week and a half! Man I wish there was a pill I could take to give me the energy...oh wait! there is =)... but I don't want to pay for it...lol...I'm on a budget. Today is my little brother's birthday, he's 26...wow I'm old! Argh ok enough BSsssin I better get to this room and handle it before in handles me. Clean up clean up...
So we have a problem...the local cats have made our backyard their own personal litter box...ew! The smell is so stinky!!! So I spent yesterday picking up cat poo, I watered and turned the soil, then sprinkled cayenne pepper on the ground. Sarah read a blog that said cayenne irritates the cats, so hopefully this home remedy works! I've never really been a cat person, I like small dog and goldfish...once upon a time I did want an Ant farm. If the pepper doesn't work, I'm getting a bb gun... hehehe.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I'm back from my trip to Hawaii and Graduations in Arizona! So happy to be home in Long Beach! I had such a wonderful vacation. I am blessed to have such great people in my life! Now we are waiting for Miss Lylah to make her appearance. I was worried I wouldn't be around for the day but now I'm back and ready to be of service! Come mid June I'll be back out on the road touring with Vayden. The Merch Girl inside of me will emerge and do better than before. Nikki and I made a year mark this month...yes, our relationship has had its ups and downs, but what relationship hasn't? I love her, she loves me, we can work through our hardships =) As I reflect on my life so far, I feel very blessed for my family and friends and the life I lead. Life is Good!!!
p.s. i love my little guy phoenix...he is my home sweet home! =)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Today is Nikki and my 10 month anniversary and I'm laughing inside. Because we celebrate the weirdest months together. Last year we celebrated our 7 month and next we'll party together on our 11 month =) So we're an Odd couple and I love it.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Well it's the end of day 2 and I'm sipping on my evening tea. I must admit good food smells delicious! But I just try to keep a positive attitude and think of all the benefits of this Cleanse. Yesterday I woke up drank my saltwater and in an hour made friends with the toilet. I continued to drink my lemonade and I went about my day watching little Phoenix. I did a lot of cleaning and organizing in the house and whenever I felt hungry I had a glass. The cayenne pepper just bursts in my organs, its not a bad feeling, I enjoy it because I imagine fireworks exploding inside me. On the other hand my throat is a bit on fire, but it goes away. I failed to mention that my older sister did this cleanse last year for 30 days and lost 28 pounds. So I've been talking to her asking my questions, the do's and don'ts =) Today was good, I'm told that after day 3 or so I'll experience such clarity that this would be a great time to works on goals. I dig that! I've also realized how much I depend on food. Not just for nourishment, but also as a personal comforter. Even when I'm not hungry I'll want to eat just because I can. A friend and I were discussing how this cleanse is hard because you have to truly be committed to go without food. This is the first time I've ever attempted this cleanse without cheating on the first day. Yes, I always have the intention to want to change, but I've lacked the commitment in the past. So what's change? Why now am I ready to commit? Well I'm getting older and as look back on my life I've never taken care of myself FULLY. Mind, Body, and Spirit. I've made excuses of why I couldn't do this for myself. But no more, I can't doing anything to make up for my past, but I can improve myself now, for my future. =)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Today I've started the Master Cleanse Diet also known as the Lemonade Diet. I'm not doing this to lose weight. I've been a vegetarian for over a month now and I want to completely cleanse my system of all the waste and give my organs a nice jump start towards a better healthy life. I'll be doing this for the suggested 10 days and decided to document my progress, in case anyone wants to ever try. So tonight I drank an herbal tea called Smooth Move, in the morning I'll drink a saltwater flush and then for the day I'll drink the lemonade concoction. I've been doing some reading on the health benefits of cayenne pepper and it's known to help rejuvenate your body from the inside out. Well here I go! I'll keep ya'll posted =)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Sunday, February 26, 1995 the date that is forever apart of me, the day my mom died. It's been 14 years since mom left, that's about half my lifetime. Last week was her anniversary of passing, and I found myself thinking about her. Who was this woman? What was she like at my age? What would she think of me now? How accurate are the stories I've been told about her? Most are positive, but its been my experience that the dead are often sainted after life than before...and then of course these questions: Why? Why didn't she leave Dad? Why did she put up with all the "crap"? Why wasn't she stronger?
So I went up to Rose Hills to visit and write out my thoughts in journaling. I started my own personal conversation with Mom. I caught her up on the latest and greatest. I figured she already knew, probably knew before everyone else! LOL... Asked her my questions and listened for the answers.
Though the questions I've wondered since her death have stayed the same, I've changed, and I feel I understand the choices she made. I've been able to have my own experiences in life. I laugh at how judgemental I was of her when I was younger. I see myself in her, and I also see the differences.
Who am I to judge my mother? I only want to learn from her choices. I remember seeing mom really happy smiling and giggling, her eyes full of light. I remember the aching chill of a broken heart, watching mom sob as she fervently prayed and fasted, for an answer, and of course the singing of Patsy Cline songs. I've somewhat adopted the same regime when it comes to a broken heart. I remember wishing that mom would leave dad and take us with her, just like she told me she would when I was 8.
The 13 years I had with my mother I remember mostly sad stories. Usually me trying to stay out of her way so I wouldn't get in trouble. Joshua could never do wrong, so I took on mine and his punishment. It seems like my brothers have sweet wonderful loving stories, but I don't. I am number 9 of 10 and I do feel that by time I came along Mom Loved being a Nana, but was burnt out at being a mother. I believe that parents try to give their kids a better childhood than they got, so I am thankful. So yes, I feel a bit jilted, but that's life. I can only move on and try to do better for myself. I know she loved me and I love her. And in the end thats all that matters =)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Last Saturday I found my new favorite spot in Long Beach, located on 4th street downtown. On 4th street you will find many different types of thrift stores ranging from furniture antiques to vintage clothing. There's also an Artsy Theater that has only one viewing room, but shows independent films and some mainstream. I could feel a creative vibe in air as walked up and down the street window shopping.
The pictures above were taken at La Bomba Vintage Thrift. Now every 3rd Saturday of the month La Bomba opens the back room of their store where you can see is a mountain of clothes!! The dresses, tops, and scarves are a $1.00, yes one dollar each =) Jackets are $5. I found myself climbing the mountain digging and having a blast searching for the coolest styles of clothes for me =) I can shop all day, I practically was there for a good 3 hours plus rummaging through and trying on clothes. I came away with 3 tops and six dresses for $9. and change! i can't wait to show ya'll my clothes once they've been cleaned and altered!
I found a store that sells vinyl records and purchased:
1) George Benson's Breezin- This is a baby making record =) Love IT!
2) Carly Simon's No Secrets- I love her voice! Yes, Your so vain is on this record.
3) John Denver's Greatest Hits- I love folk style music, it's so chill.
4) The Wiz Soundtrack- I like to put this one on and dance around the house with Phoenix =)
I'd also like to mention the great coffee shop Portfolio located on that strip, they have yummy blended chai and stuffed cheese and spinach croissants. I can't wait to go back and do some more shopping.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
So we moved from Irvine to Long Beach and I love it! Our new place is a house! So goodbye to apartment living! We can be as loud as we want, as late as we want! Woo Hoo!!! =D I think of our new place as a quaint little cottage with that Snow White kind of touch =) The house was built in 1932, it's a 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath with a kitchen, laundry room, attic, informal and formal dining room, and a living room with a fireplace. We definitely use the fireplace and I've honed in on my inner firestarter skills. Young womens camp does pay off! I can't wait for visitors! I love doing the tour, as long as the rooms are somewhat clean...hehe...I love our location in Long Beach. It is a safe area and there's alot of cool shops and stops around our place. I plan to put some pictures as soon as I buy a memory card for my new digital camera. =) Peace Out Homies!
Friday, January 30, 2009
Ana & Josh
What a fun night! It was so cool hanging out with these awesome characters at the last Vayden gig here in Cali. As you can see none of us are camera shy! I like changing the colors of pics because its a funky fun touch to some pretty neat memories.
I love to drink a hot cup of chai or peppermint tea in the morning with my breakfast. I love it for an afternoon of relaxing and reading a book. And I love it to settle me at the end of a long day.
Me & Tea
When my throat is dry and scratchy
And a cough drop will not do
I put on my kettle of water
And pick my favorite brew
As the water hits that boiling point
My Wicked cup is set
Its time I pour it all on You
I'm so happy that we've met
You're just the perfect size
The perfect taste too
I'm feeling better already
Tea I LOVE YOU
I've been sick this past week with a sore throat and Tea has been a constant companion. I need a refill. =)
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
ELIMINATE ALL OF MY DEBT!
Goodbye to student loans, credit cards, and unpaid bills! I'm tired of having such bad credit hanging over me like a gray rain cloud. I realized that I allowed it to take a toll on my self worth, so instead of avoiding it like I've been doing...I'm setting up payment plans and learning how to manage my money. I actually want to have $$ in my savings account, LOL... seriously I do =)
I have more goals that I'll be working on, but I just wanted to put this one out there! If you write it down... You know what I mean.
Friday, January 9, 2009
2008 was a great year for me. It was a year of self discovery and realizing what really mattered in my life. I know who I am, and I love it. I love my family and friends. I'm blessed to live the life that I have.
I worked for "the man" January to April and really started to dislike living in Arizona... In Spring I went to Hawaii and spent time with true friends and found the love of my life... I rocked out the summer with Vayden and saw a lot of the USA... Made bff's with Phoenix and now we chill 24/7... Oh and I came out to family and friends that I'm gay... I've improved on cooking and baking... I've begun to read a lot more books... I've become more politically involved... and honestly I have a much happier outlook on my future =)
At the moment I've been working on my goals for 2009. There's so much that I want to accomplish this year. But that's the subject of my next blog.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The past 3 weeks have been a wonderful time of laughter, love, and relaxation. My girlfriend Nikki was able to join me here in California for Christmas and New Years. I discovered that the best way to finish the year and start a new one is being in the arms of the person you love! Ok, so that's a no brainer, but it's my first! I was so proud to introduce Nikki to my family (of course that would be to the family that is open and supportive of our relationship). They loved her and that is definitely a plus. I'll cherish those quiet intimate moments that we shared. I look forward to our relationship positively growing. I love her with all of my heart and I hope that everyone can be as happy as the way I feel. Let's go 2009!!!